Show me the money! (please?)

Never has there been a tale of more woe than that of Elizabeth and her expense accounts. Right now, my company Mega Corp owes me around $1200. Follow the bouncing ball: $700 for a recent business trip. $150 for last month's local phone. And around $350 in refunds from a pretax plan that I have for medical and childcare expenses. Before we get out our foam bats and start beating the crap out of Mega Corp, I need to make the following caveat: they don't KNOW they owe me the money. I haven't found a way to get any of my requests far enough into the system to be approved. Despite 6 years with the company. Despite my lofty position in senior management. Despite, like, 27 years of higher education. Despite my long career with computer systems. Yeah, my bad. Many years ago I worked for PoorNonProfit. I was OUTSTANDING at processing expenses back then. It was easy. Why? I was starving. My regular pay was like $100/week. I was so hungry I considered free ice from the soda machine to be a food group. I was so poor that I had to save up to go to GoodWill and buy some "new" clothes. Those quarterly expense checks, meager as they were, were all that stood between me and wearing grocery bags for underwear. Then came the darks days at GlobeTrotting Corp when I was travelling 90% of the time. GT was a very, very CHEAP company. They made Scrooge McDuck looklike Oprah. The policy was this: the EMPLOYEE paid up front for travelling costs (except plane tickets) and then put in for a refund. A Byzantine process guaranteed to kick back the WHOLE expense report at least once. For reasons like stapling at the wrong angle. So I hired a part-time assistant to assemble them for me. Fabulous. He would get on the phone and hassle GT while I stood behind him jumping up and down (silently) cheering. But my uber-assistant died suddenly. 9 months later I had to quit GT because their tab with me had hit $10,000. I was making the interest charges while arm-wrestling for every dollar. Basically, I was PAYING to work. This is a very bad, no-good thing. Good news awaited at the next gig. Mega Corp. I was a new employee, gun shy of expenses, skittish to say the least. They were so easy with me. Here's a corporate card. Here's a piece of paper. Send your receipts and we'll pay the card directly. Oh life was GOOD. And then... not so much. First, a "travel ban" (HA!) and then no more corporate card. But worst of all...Mega went "online" with all their expense reporting and refund requests with a non-Gui interface. With NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL. Just an "shortcut" card that works well as a coaster. A system that regularly times out in the middle of a session but DOES.NOT.SAVE partial reports. Based from home, no kindly admin to help me. And you KNOW the "Helpline" doesn't. It wouldn't be so shameful, except these kind of systems are part of what Mega does as a commercial service. It's hell. It's rage. It's me against the machine - er, process. And I'm losing.