I'm a Muck

The reality is - I'm a comment slut who's living on the thin. You'd think I'd be getting some with these fishnets and the little red garters and all that love I spread around like Johnny Appleseed... But, hey, I've decided to revel in my feedback any way I can get it. My new slogan is "Emails ROCK!" Thanks for taking the time. Please, let me slobber on you. Therefore I shall respond to the lovely, lovely questions:  1) Yes, Mega Corp is indeed a pseudonym for a Fortune top 250 corporation.  I don't actually work for a company called "Mega" - although, how cool would that be? 2) No, my company is not all virtual. It really depends on what job you are doing. 3) I am a program manager (Stop yawning, it's not polite).  4) No, I was not hired as a "virtual employee". When I started with Mega, I had to be on site everyday in business dress. Yes, honey, I'm talking blouse, slacks, pumps, and foundation garments: pantyhose, 18-hour bra and, occasionally, underwear. I'm talking earrings and blow-dried hair and reapplied lipstick. By the time I was promoted into the chewy center of Mega Corp, I was well-set in my home office. Yes, I travel when needed. I probably go on-site once a month. My team is built specifically for each program I have, which generally runs about a year. My staff are all over the world, with teams of their own.  We stay in contact by instant messenger, email, phone, and lots of teleconferences. Mega is pretty fluid, being project based. Org charts change monthly. It takes a while for people to figure out the corporate Darwinian dogpile.   My biggest assets most days are a sense of humor and flexibility. Since I work mostly upward facing (oh your mind, the place it goes... wheee), I lose track of the rest of my division pretty easily. Like today, I got an email that had me perplexed. I didn't recognize the sender's name, Sally, so I gave her a call: "What is this about?" "You need you to blah blah blah for me, by August first," Sally informed  me. "I do?" I asked. "I think you have the wrong person. Why don't you check into it?" A few hours later I got a call from Sally. "Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I was confused. It was for a different Elizabeth," she said. "All's well," I replied, preparing to hang up. "Um, I just wanted to say. I didn't realized it before. But I work for you. Well, my boss does. So, sorry for bothering you." "Oh," I laughed. I had no idea who this woman was, but that happens. "No worries." At the same moment I was hanging up, I got an instant message from her boss, Marie. MegaMarie: Don't worry, I have her studying an Org Chart so she'll know who the muckety mucks are in the future   Me: Probably a good idea. And I think I'm just a muck, actually.   For the rest of the afternoon I had this song in my head, to the tune of Officer Krupke from West Side Story: I'm a muck, I'm a muck, Almost a muckety-muck, Like inside, I'm a Mega Muck! Heh. 5) Yes, sometimes Mega IS hiring but probably not people who are "looking for a job (they) can do nekkid".  Good luck, though.  Well, I hope that answers your questions.  You know where I'll be if you have any more. Yep, at your back door with a smile on. Don't be shy, now...