Wind beneath my wings (cough, snort, grin)

Husband and son  - I could just gobble them up (05/2004)

Here's my husband's recipe for alleviating moron-induced head banging:   1. Call wife 2. Tell her how smart she is and how the rest of the world is just lucky to share her air 3. Whisper a few sweet nothings, maybe congratulating his own fine self on any and all recent prowess 4. Causing wife to blush and laugh and be glad she's alone 5. Remind wife that Bourne Identity will be out in 48 hours 6. Pretend there is ready babysitting available (lie to me baby) 7. Remind wife that it just doesn't matter, in a bad Bill Murray impression 8. Remind wife that, really, it just doesn't matter. We're all OK. The rest is fluffernutter in the sandwich of life 9. Repeat as necessary So far this month this approach has alleviated:  - Guilt over leaving Bear, our kidlet, with the YMCA morons  - Anger at the expense process and HR Morons at Mega Corp  - Frustration with employees (who are also, on occasion, morons)  - Meltdown when I discovered my "Merit Increase" which amounted to.... yes, here it is, $17/week  - Hysteria. The multi-colored hair incident  - Wimpering blubberiness during the drive to meet Grumpy for the first time, after I accidentally shaved off half of one of my eyebrows  - Sadness  - Withdrawal from Dawson's Creek. (Yes, Dawson's Creek. Like you didn't.)  - Insanity induced from the crazy childcare/work juggling act  - Sore boobs from practicing golf  - Anxiety over launching a new blog