More on the war for At-Home Dads

My husband, CD, joined the Chicago At-Home Dads' group while he was a stay at home father. You can imagine their reaction to the recent diatribe from Ms. Seipps. With their permission, I am publishing a letter from one of their members, Dave L. Please feel free to email your support. Here's Dave's letter, in its entirety: Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004 20:27:00 -0500 Cathy, While I am sure that left coast dads are probably more interested in saving the whales and such and while you are correct about the facial hair, the article that was just forwarded to me "Meet Today's Dad" could not be more of a mis-representation of my life as a stay at home father. Myself and the 30 plus guys in the Chicago area that I know do not seem out of place at all and are never expecting any adulations for their position in the hierarchy of their family unit. In fact, my reaction to the usual "Wow, you are doing a great job" comment over the last 5 years has been to wonder aloud whether a female parent with 2 well behaved small children would be getting the same attention in a restaurant. Sadly, she would not. Do I get more females observing my every move...sure. Grandmothers are the first to make a comment. I really don't think that any parent takes well to unsolicited advice from a stranger. Sure, if there is imminent danger and advice is given, I am happy to hear it and am quick to offer thanks. If it is just advice for something petty and is being offered just because I am a male and therefore cannot possibly do anything right concerning the raising of children, you are correct to expect a nasty response. Your example of the supermarket observation can just as well (and has been oh so many times) be reversed by gender. I can't tell you how many times I have seen moms oblivious as to what their children are doing at playgrounds...they are too busy catching up with friends. In fact, my favorite was in a restaurant with outdoor seating and a small play area. I was waiting to sit and I w! as watch ing my 2 guys play on the Little Tykes equipment as a small toddler (probably about 14 months old judging by the unstable gait) went right past me, turned left and went right out the gate onto the sidewalk. I started to pursue as the child got past the sidewalk and caught up as he passed between two parked cars aiming for a thankfully empty street. I swooped up said child, brought him back into the seating area and yelled "Who's is this?". I had to repeat myself 3 times until a mother managed to look away from her friend and notice that a strange man was holding her child. She came walking over and talked, in baby talk, at her child to the effect that he was a bad boy for leaving mommy. Not a word to me was spoken. This happened in Winnetka, IL.... a pretty nice suburb of Chicago. I am sure that everyone has examples of bad parenting and lapses of judgment by parents of all types. I just wish more stories of observed good parenting made their way into the public media. Sadly, that wouldn't make for good TV or print. Sincerely Dave L.