Instant Gratification, a lunchtime post

Dream Mistress asked (in a COMMENT! Gimme a Wooo and a Hooo, people!) how I even found a job like the one at Mega corp. She probably meant it as a throwaway comment, bless her cool soul, but I'm all about the slobbering love and the instant gratification and the positive reinforcement. So here it is, in 10 easy steps: 1) Finish High School. Notice I didn't say "Graduate". Graduation is the frosting. If you can reach that peak, power to you. I didn't. My husband didn't. In my case, my high school stamped my transcripts "graduated" at the end of summer school after my senior year because my parents threatened to sue them if they weren't allowed to ship me off to college immediately. 2) Go to a University. In my case, in Washington D.C.. I partied a lot, dated some Hoyas, got a lead in a play, got into all kinds of pain and trouble, spent hours flirting in our shared bathroom with my punk lesbian suitemate, and lingered over Mimosas during brunches at Clydes. Wait, study? Did I mention study? No? Well then... 3) Go to a Community College. Have a really bad couple of years. Move out on your own. Start wearing azure eyeliner. Wreck the car by running over some traffic cones and never pulling them out of the engine block. 4) Finish Community College. Notice that I, again, don't say "graduate". Heh. 5) Get married to a guy who makes you drool. Pay no attention to his long-term goals. Or your own. That will get hashed out in the divorce. 6) Teach. This is important. Teaching is a way to never stop learning. To connect with the planet. To create bonds of knowledge and history. Teach something, even if it is the growth cycle of a moth to an inquisitive preschooler. Oh. crap. My soapbox just broke... but wait! You get the idea, right? 7) Go back to College. Learning is important. See above. 8) Suck up your courage. Go back to University. I chose Loyola, in Chicago. I have a thing for Jesuits. But that's another story. 9) Finish University. Still avoiding the "G" word. If graduation will signal you that it's time to walk away from all-nighters and move into the grown-up world of whatever comes next - cool beans. My signal came another way. 10) Temp. That's right, temp. I did it off and on for about 10 years. You'd be amazed at how much coaching you get as a temp, and how much you see about the companies you work at. Eventually you learn how to look adoptable, and when to turn that on. When I liked a company and wanted them to think long-term about me, I made myself indispensable. I pretended I was already an employee. No not in a scary, stalker way. In a good way - like dressing like the rest of the team and like paying attention the company's stock and not watching the clock or using "I'm a temp" as an excuse for not knowing where the men's bathroom was. OK. Maybe a little stalkerish. But just a little. 'K? Over time, I had several job offers. When the right one came along, I took it. Yes,  with Mega. I had kissed A LOT of corporate frogs, so I had a pretty good internal barometer for crappy jobs. Oh, who am I kidding? I temped all the crappy jobs, so I knew from crappy. Mega smelled pretty good. It was time. And luckily for me, it's worked out. So far.