Another Bear story: "Mommy? Where's your penis?"

Bear's a strong candidate for attention span theater. One of his favorite speed topics is still his 3-year-old's fascination with genitalia. Last night there was a huge rainstorm. I was working late, preparing for a big meeting with a vendor today. I looked up and jumped, surprised to see Bear standing there silently. He was in his pullup and carried a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I don't like storms, he said softly. Such a sad and frightened look on his sweet face. So I saved my PowerPoint dreck and scooped him up and took him to our bed. He cuddled between Corporate Daddy and me, stroking arms and faces. The lightning was like a strobe light through the window. What's that like? I asked Bear. I don't know, he answered. Nana says it's for counting. So we counted between the lightning and the thunder. That made things only worse since the storm was getting closer and closer. Change in tactics: It's like God taking your picture! I hope he has enough batteries, I tease. No, Bear giggled. No, It's God playing flashlight. See? And the thunder is the clouds bumping into each other, I say. No, No! Bear said. God is taking pictures and He's playing the drums and He's taking your picture. Oh, I laugh. Busy God! Bear amused himself so much that he kicked Corporate Daddy. OOF! CD moaned. I kicked Daddy in the wee-wee, Bear confided as CD continued to groan. Penis, I corrected automatically. Ok. Boys have penises and girls have penises and breasts. Not so much, I offered. Girls don't have penises. Yes they do! No, they don't. They have vag- No! Penises! Know why? Why? Because how else do you go potty? Well.... girls have something else to go potty- Wait! What, Bear? I think that there's no more drums. God is hungry. God is having chocolate milk. It goes in his tummy and then out his wee-wee. Well - I like chocolate milk. It's my favorite. You know what? What? God wants spicy chicken too. Maybe tomorrow we have spicy chicken. Maybe next weekend, Bear. We talked about special restaurant food and how it costs money. I know, I know. Maybe tomorrow. Wait! God is taking your picture again! A few minutes later I look over and Bear is sound asleep. I nudge CD gently. Honey, I beg. Honey please carry him back to his bed. I'm exhausted. CD, knew he had two choices: 1) Carry Bear back to bed or 2) Equip himself with a protective cup for the night. He carried him. Peace reigned. And I was able to get 6 hours of sleep before getting up to head out for the big meeting. Before I left, Bear surprised me with a visit while I was in the bathroom. Mommy!? Where's your penis? Sweetie - we talked about this.. Mommy! Where's! Your! Penis?!